To men,
Find a woman with big dreams!
And all you need to do is just keep her happy.
What you need to keep her happy is respect....no it's not the money, not the diamonds and not the cars!
She will make you the success you couldn't even dream of!
It's the woman, not the man who is responsible for big feats!
The men who know this, are wise!
Those who don't are otherwise! 😀
This one trick is tested.
When you meet someone and you start feeling uncomfortable and don't know why, or your heartbeat quickens, please understand that this is your intuition telling you to stop. Your throat may suddenly turn dry, you may start shifting in your chair or shifting from one foot to the other without understanding why...there will be a general discomfort that is so distinct, it will disturb your focus and all you will ask yourself is 'what's wrong with me?'
I have ignored these signs and gotten into trouble months later.
The moment your breathing changes in an otherwise stable environment....take that as a sign from God/angel/higher consciousness....and step back from the situation. The meeting may be excellent, everything will seem normal to the naked eye but you won't feel as excited or happy as you should have felt otherwise.
Trust your instinct in these situations and say a No to the offer, say No to the meeting, Say No to the outing or whatever else is planned.
Pay close attention to your breath next time and let me know.
Life is a balance between these two. Expectations and Reality. When I was growing up I thought the world is a nice and a fair place. When reality hit, I ran for cover. When I gave it a 2nd shot, it hit even harder! With continuous disappointments came anger. Some of us refuse to absolutely grow up and believe in the adult's worldview of " Yahaan aisehi hota hai!"
Aisehi kaise hota hai?
When kids go wrong we demand an explanation. We punish them. We demand they say a sorry, we put them on a guilt trip. But when adults go wrong?
I wished the world was run by kids.
It is not true that they don't understand life. In fact their take is more beautiful than ours. I wished if we could give power backup to kids and let them handle matters, They would do a better job. Guess why? Because there is no ego there. If we teach them right stuff, they execute the right stuff. That's not what happens with an adult human brain. We teach adults the right stuff, they hear just about 20% of it or even lesser because they think they know it all, then they execute 10% of which almost 8% is for gratifying their own big ego's and the rest 2% is somehow to show as if they have done some work....you see the problem? And all the powers are in the hands of such adults. There is absolutely no representation of kids!! Children from age 8 onwards can pretty much understand a lot. If we only give them a chance, perhaps we will learn something of great importance.
I am exploring creativity in everything around me. From growing plants in old thrown away basins to collecting some seaweed and arranging it in a crystal vase. Creativity is more fun when you make things out of things that are lying around you....free of cost. There are so many shops and show pieces available in the market today. But what's the point in throwing money and buying something? How does that become a part of you?
I want to make my house a place of my creativity. Mine and those who I love. Like Sheetal gifted me a digital painting a few months back and Sharvani gifted me an oil painting right now..as I write this post 😀
These people and their art makes more sense to me than some Picasso's!
I was at an electric shop buying a tubelight for my room. I am not an electric types, as in I don't know much of the science behind these things. But realised today I probably will gain an insight into spirituality if I take more interest in science.
It's energy after all. And in order for energy to flow right, you need the right kind of wiring and equipment. Energy can flow through a lot of connections but whether it will hold a long time or blow itself within a short time is of prime importance. Much like human relationships.
I live in a really old house where the wiring and systems are old. They have been here a long time, much like my relationships with my family members. They both have been tried and tested and are strong and hold the energy fluctuations from time to time.
There's a lot to learn from everything that happens around us. If We need strong connections and relationships, we need the right kind of mix...the right brand, or material or make.
Not everyone is made for everyone.
We are wired differently.
To keep the balance between your responsibilities, dreams and reality ...That's a tough job. It's tough when everything goes on priority mode. Somehow the dreams always take the back seat and that hurts. I wished someone could assist or mentor me on this. I need someone who has done this balancing act before.
There are times when I just give up! Because it gets too much to handle. But then, I know I have to stand up and give the fight again. It's worse when you have to fight your wars alone. I have been there, been beaten down , but no I don't quit easily. I rest, I step back but then I am out again.
Giving up is not in my genes!
I am having sleepless nights. No..I am not worried. I am excited. I look forward to a new journey. One aspect of my life I appreciate is that I am always presented with new knowledge and new opportunities. It's not like I know the same things I knew 10 years back. There is atleast a 50 to 60% change in my lifestyle. And its all happening right here, in my birthplace Goa.
There are two ways one can seek adventure- inside your head and outside. I think what I am simply exploring now are places inside my head. That is why I enjoy meditation so much. Not a single dull moment. Each day is like lighting up a brand new corner.
* There will be days on which I wont be connected to the Internet or any technology, posts for those days will be published on a day when I come back in the grid. The whole point is to be able to write and publish 365 posts with different topics and write new content every day as far as possible.
This week is all about putting systems in place before a more hectic life begins from February. I got the drip irrigation system for my garden yesterday. Need to lay it out across the front porch and make sure it does the job.
I met a senior agriculturist from Goa yesterday. His name is Mr. Vitthal Khandeparker. I love to talk to enthusiastic and knowledgeable senior folks. He has so much wisdom about how to live a simple, healthy and prosperous life. If I do get the time, god bless me with a 25th hour please, I wish to interview him and jot down some of his wisdom.
There are so many new things I am learning every day. Life is exciting and beautiful!
Recently I discovered simplicity like never before. Every concept has layers to it, like an onion and as you go deeper you discover more. Therefore different people have different definitions regarding the same concepts. Someone understands simplicity as wearing nude make up, for someone else no make up is being simple- it's all about each one's interpretation.
I have realised that the more simple I keep my life, more beautiful it becomes. Whether it's food, clothes, friends and relatives, work and goals....just keep it as simple as you can think of at the current moment. My simple may not be someone else's simple, and that's okay, because obviously everything works from my level of understanding. If I go to copy someone else , Or give higher regard to someone else's opinion over mine then I lose the meaning of my life. Then nothing matters. If I am going to live someone else's life, then nothing matters. You know what I mean?
Anyway, as I go deeper and deconstruct everything to it's most basic , simplest form, I find treasure never known to me. Each level is a new revelation. For an example, take Dress code. The more complicated you make it, the more uncomfortable one gets. You want to make an impression? Find out in which clothes or accessories or materials you are most comfortable. It is my experience that I am happiest in the jewellery that I wear regularly over diamonds, I am happier in cottons and lighter breathable material, I am happier in flats, I love my natural hair color and recently I even discovered that I don't need any make up. My natural skin tone and glow is so beautiful that no make up can match it. One can make a statement with simplicity alright? Or maybe it's just my perspective. Even I notice and prefer others who are simple in their living and demeanor. I have learnt that such kinds have more depth over the flashy lot. Just my opinion, not a judgement! Or maybe it is a judgement...oh wait...how do you differentiate experience from judgement? Don't we draw conclusions from our experiences? Would that be called judgement? But there are always exceptions. And they are very few.
To conclude: Simple is beautiful!
And I have started my journey towards that end.
Simple writing too is a part of that. 😃
Dear somebody who is reading this from somewhere,
Today, I truly felt like a new Journey has begun. Parents are out of town , grandma is home and the responsibility of the entire household- with 2 dogs, 1 cat, an upcoming kitchen garden is on my shoulders.
It was all fine all this while because usually it was just me and the pets and I either ate out or cooked a maggie or an omlette , or dropped in at my friend's or relatives house.
But now with a new committed relationship, and me having turned a full vegetarian a lot has changed. A lot meaning I have to cook each and every meal now.
And no, that's not an easy job. First , there is the kitchen with its many elements, ingredients, tools etc. It's a huge chemistry lab and it requires patience, diligence and most importantly, some bit of skill and liking towards it.
One of the biggest disadvantage of having a great cook as your mother is this- I never learnt to cook myself. I mean why should I when the Chef has got it all handled? But now I am going to be married, maybe sometime in the near future I will also have a baby...I must learn to cook now...IT's HIGH TIME!
I wished cooking was taught in school. I regret all the hours wasted on learning math and especially all the tears shed on the nasty comments of a mean math teacher for not getting those stupid trigonometry sums!
This is what I want to make sure I teach my kids first. To cook and take care of a house like a pro. Whether it is cleaning up business or entertaining a guest, or cooking, or fixing broken stuff. None of this was ever taught formally. And what was more important to learn? A + B = A square + 2AB + B square!!!! Algebraic Equations! My Ass!
Okay...Now that I have taken all that frustration out of me, let's move forward...Shall we? It's never too late to start learning something new. Even if you don't like it. The first thing is to stop saying 'I don't like it' repeatedly as if repeating it is going to give me a Padmashri!
I like it.
Hell! I Love to cook!
I love how the onion makes me cry, and how the dough either keeps getting soggy or too hard but never right enough to eat the rotis within an hour! I love the messy kitchen after I have eaten and I am tired and I want to sleep but I HAVE TO clean up first, else the kitchen army of cockroaches and lizards and some other unknown creatures attack every food item! I love it even more when the maid doesn't show up the next day after several guests came over for dinner. And you know what's the best thing about it out of all?? When somebody comments or mocks your food when it is served! Cherry on the cake!
BUT, I swear I love it!
Because there is no other way , I know my mom's not going to cook for me forever. And I know it will be hard to find someone who will cook for me, like she did. I can't let some person, not better than me cook food for me. Sorry. Food is energy. This one is a non negotiable part of my life. Food has to be right. And has to be cooked by someone who has spiritually the correct energy. It's not the taste, it's the mindset that matters.
Ideally , I would love to have mom's food for the rest of my life. That is my dream. Because I want to concentrate on studies and writing. I wished we could do only some of the things that we liked and other things had worked perfectly the way they did when we were in school. How parents made sure life was smooth Like butter!
Anyway, apart from the kitchen , everything else was satisfactory. But then there is laundry! I don't know why we need so many clothes! I wished I had washed every day so it didn't all pile up!
That's another thing I want to teach my kids. Doing a little bit every day keeps life running smoothly.
Like this blog! 😀
I am just glad I got the time to write this. Seriously. And I hope I get the time to write always....That's my prayer!
The food was fantastic by the way, we also did a small puja and made some ladoos as prashad for the gods. So the gods and the grannies ( we have 2 here at the moment) and my other family members and the pets were happy with the Prashad!
All's well that ends well!
Good night!
Love
Jsincro
(By issues I mean issues that we support such as environment, women and child, education, better healthcare etc. )
It's the issues that we support that shape our lives.
It all started way back in the year 1996. I was attending my first environmental awareness camp at Bondla organised by WWF ( World Wide Fund For Nature) . I was only 11 then, a kid, but the issues discussed that time are relevant even today. The focus of the camp was on conservation, little lifestyle changes to lead a more responsible life.
Now at 33, I see those lessons showing up when I choose my career, lifestyle, partner etc.
That's good education for you! That's effective learning. I still remember the nature trails, projects and activities, documentaries . That was my first introduction to forests and nature and the love affair only became deeper.
I also see the difference in the kids who attended those kinds of camps and kids who only focussed on school based education. The school based one's maybe doing fantastic as far as financial success may go, but I don't see them acting very educated when it comes to the environment. They seem focussed only on the rat race and are happily ignorant about world affairs.
There are so many issues surrounding us and we can choose any one to start with.
Stand up for something outside of your life please.
Maybe you believe in child and women related issues- what are you doing about that?
"No I am very busy, I am working 11 hours a day but I am donating money to those organisations!"
Great!
But we need more.
We often feel if we pay someone we are absolved of our duties. You may be paying some organisation to do the job But when you see a child being employed at a hotel, do you question them? Do you do your part?
"We already have so many things happening in our lives- that boss is eating my head, my mother in law is another creature from I don't know where , I am already struggling in my own life."
We all are.
We can still choose to focus on something outside of our little world, and give it priority as much as we give those issues inside our world and see the difference. Your life starts transforming into something else. Step by step, year by year, you see yourself increasingly standing up for a cause until you become a leader of that cause. You speak up louder, stronger until more people around you notice you.
That's the power of choosing an issue to focus on.
It takes years to see them bloom, but they do...They are like those seeds that take years to grow roots inside you and suddenly, they sprout and grow so fast, making the world a bit better place to live in !
In my society, a person who takes tough decisions is looked down upon as a weak person.
I find a complete lack of thinking or critical abilities in people.
They don't debate or put forth their points, they either mock you or they get offended.
Clarity of thought and originality is an extinct species. And when I do see those traits in people I am excited to meet them. But those kinds are far and few, far off from the usual crowd.
I live in a funny world, everything everyone does seems like a joke to me. I tried taking it seriously, I really tried hard but then , well! I realised it wasn't worth any effort. One just can't talk sense in a gathering of jokers!
And I asked myself who am I to think that I am better than these kinds I am talking about. Who am I to criticise, question and point fingers?
Well I am a citizen, a part that is in absolute minority of this democracy.
Who said democracy is made up of only gender distinctions, or caste and creed and religious and social distinctions? It is also made up of thought distinctions. There is a small class of people like me who disagree with the direction our society is going in. We disagree with the kind of programs allowed on television which is making our people dumber than ever, we disagree with the education system which is manufacturing useless fools, we disagree with the governments policy with corporations allowing them to pollute our land and finish our resources. We are the rare thinking souls fighting for our survival in a world inCreasingly systematically made and kept dumb.
Nobody is paying us to think, and THEREFORE we THINK. But it's still free! Thank God! Isn't this the quality that sets us apart from the animal kingdom!? The ability to think, to question, to change!
It's a lonely place for me. I am being attacked regularly, there is no law in place to protect my species and I don't see it ever being there too. I have to fend for myself and others like me.
In the talk and fight over religions, genders etc, my voice is too small to make any heads turn.
But hello! I am here, I am alive and I want to thrive!
Please don't kill me, my voice matters.
And I will fight till my last breath!
Result?
All the mad men consider the intelligent one as the mad man.
That's our democracy!
No place for thinkers!
It's just mob mentality!
Throughout my life I met men who told me they loved me. One told me on the 5th day of meeting me that he had fallen in love with me and on the 15th day he told me he wanted to marry me. By day 30th, he had sent me the entire plan of our lives- how many kids we would have, what our daughter would be called, when we will marry, where we will live, what I will do post marriage, what name I will take post marriage, he even decided who our daughter would look Like....
Obviously I was overwhelmed and grateful for the love showered over me. But no , I did not believe he was in love with me.
Your first experience of something new is the deal maker. A whole lot depends on it.
I married the first man I was in a relationship with and that ended up in a divorce. I thought that was true love, but things changed fast. I was in love by 20 and badly broken by 24! I concluded that love was selfish, controlling, hurtful and made up of all things negative.
Then how come my mother lived with my father for so long? Is it because women always give up on their dreams and needs in favour of the man they marry? Is that the definition of a successful marriage? Of true love?
Many women , who seemed to be in so called successful marriages ,came to me and told me how miserable they were with their husbands. " Then why don't you leave him?" I asked. The answers were different kinds of excuses.
"I have a daughter, who would marry her? I don't even have a job."
" I can't live alone, who would marry a divorced woman?"
"My family will abandon me."
Oh I see. So, I was scared to live alone too. I didn't have a job and my parents didn't support my decision at first.
I ran away from home and decided I will make a brand new life. I simply couldn't live a lie. I didn't want to upset the social order. But every woman who chooses a divorce ends up being the Bitch in the eyes of docile , internally frustrated kind of women.
Whatever the cons, I decided to focus on the pros.
I decided to live as a Tiger for a day rather than an entire life of being sheep.
Divorce is an ugly experience. It teaches you a lot. It teaches you who has the balls and who doesn't. It teaches you that at the end of the day, you fend for yourself, you are alone. It is amongst those times where you must walk alone. And when you do that , you learn to get tough. You pick up whatever weapon you have on you, whether it's your sharp tongue, intellect, or friends and family.....You learn to build your defences, you learn to attack in order to protect yourself and in time, you thrive. With the intense mental training of fighting the society and your internal blocks, you get confident, fearless and unbeatable.
I learnt to trust again, I learnt to see through people's lies, I learnt to take risks and get out alive and after almost 10 years of this life, when some guy looked into my eyes and told me he wanted to marry me because he wants to make a life with me, wants children with me....I thought maybe....This time....It is true....But as habit is hard to break, I tested him, and he passed. Every damn time.
True love exists.
Many people have made a mockery out of it because love is a free term to use. If people were fined for using it in the wrong places and ruining people's lives and not standing by what they say, then stupid careless, selfish, immature people would keep away from that term.
But I don't see that kind of law will ever find a place in our great efficient and successful legal system. Where the polluters, corrupt, ill willed get away , what place do love offenders have? By those standards, these kind of people who hurt others in love are saints!
I come from a family that loves socialising and partying.
I happen to be a bit of a misfit. I don't like socialising and partying. I have tried learning and mastering these skills but I am not able to derive any pleasure out of those activities anymore.
The noise, over excited people, hyper everything, incessant talking/gossipping, bad food, people who are absolutely unaware of their spiritual side and too much into the material and physical realms...The whole thing is a weird , unintellectual, boring, waste of time kind of mixture that I am not able to digest anymore.
(At a particular point in my life I have overdone everything. Perhaps that is why I am bored of that kind of lifestyle and seeking something that makes more sense. )
And yet I can't avoid these events because these are my people, I don't want to hurt them. But I realise that bit by bit it has started biting into me.
But my spiritual study also tells me to not react, observe everything, accept everything....There must be a reason why I am still here , some lessons I still haven't learnt.
I wonder what I missed out! And I hope I learn those lessons soon so I can get on with the next level.
Day 25 was about planning.
I will be attending my 3rd Vipassana course in a few days. I absolutely look forward to it.
Whenever I attend a course , I decide that I will do this every year without fail but then somehow it never happens every year.
It's just 10 days of silence a year.
Then why is it so difficult to make it happen?
I have a theory about this.
It's my observation actually.
If you are following the lifestyle recommended for the vipassana course, making changes in your life to align yourself with that thought process then a course every 2 years kind of becomes possible and eventually one will be able to do a course every year.
In other words,the further away your lifestyle and thoughts are from the intended activity, the more time it takes to make it happen.
Just having the intention isn't enough. It has to be backed by actions, thoughts, changes etc. From the simplest things to the most complex.
And how does it feel when they start judging you because they know something about you?
I learnt an important lesson today. Judging is judging. Whether they know you or they dont. Nobody will ever know you as much as you do.
Nobody else has been in my shoes as much as I have. I know why I took the decisions I took, what it took to take those tough decisions etc. Nobody has the right to judge me from their comfortable positions.
When I feel that sting, it means I should also not carry on that experience to others. But don't I judge? I do. Why do I judge?
Now that's an interesting question.
Okay so I am aware of these feelings, the more important question now is, what do I do to remove them? How do I neutralize these emotions?
First step:
Catch yourself while you are having these feelings and plainly observe how it feels. Does it hurt? Yes. Does it create negative emotions and energy? Yes.
Why does it hurt? Who exactly is hurt?
Ans: It hurts the ego who wants to always feel superior and wants to be appreciated. And maybe it is a fact that I am not comfortable about myself, something that I don't own 100%.
When someone else talks about my achievements and I happen to overhear it, I feel so good, isn't it? I feel proud, accomplished, happy, satisfied. And when someone criticises me, talks negatively about me, the same I feels demotivated, ashamed and embarrassed maybe, sad and depressed too sometimes.
Anything that can make me feel good about myself and bad about myself are tools of the ego. That's how it's got control over me. And the only way to take back the control is to keep the balance and be neutral during ups and downs.
Step 2: How to be neutral
A. Here logic helps a lot. If I am happy, I question myself- why am I so happy today? Aah! I got this....Okay....So does that mean if I don't get it the next time I will be sad? I maybe. But I don't want to. So what to do? Don't be happy or sad. Be neutral. Be peaceful. Be joyous.
B. It's not so easy to follow point A, so try this: Be in the moment. (Where else can you be?☺️) Observe ( Are you watching closely?) What is the object of happiness? What is the object of our sadness? Mostly it is words, actions, people, circumstances ,expectations etc.
C. Try C, Resolve to not react. Do not react with any emotion. This is how it works...First there is an external stimuli , we notice it- take the information in- our brain processes the information- selects appropriate response based on our experience and study and then we deliver that response. This process happens so fast that we don't even notice when we have selected a response and delivered it...It feels automatic. But it's not. It is selected by us. We are choosing every moment. And that process has become so damn fast that we don't even know why certain things are happening the way they are happening. Guess what? It's all happening because of us. We are responsible for our own lives and whatever happens in it- 100%. Now slow down that process , will you? We need to study every stage in order to be able to pull the plug at the right instance. Otherwise expect only fireworks! ☺️
Some 10 years back when I read the Fountainhead and I ran a regular blog like this one ,I had written a post about knowing someone who reminded me of the character in Ayn Rand's Fountainhead , the name of the character was Howard Roark.
I don't remember much of the description of Howard except that he was exceptionally intelligent and courageous and skillful. That the mediocre tried every trick available to pull him down ,but he surmounts all those difficulties to be a clear winner.
This man I knew in my life was somewhat like that. Intelligent, courageous, held his own, didn't bother what people thought of him and mind you, a lot of people spoke about him behind his back.
A. Because he chose who he interacted with . He didn't simply let any Tom Dick and Harry have screen time.
B. Nobody knew what he was upto. He was a man of very few words.
Those were the days when my blog wasn't popular, like right now and I thought no one was reading.
Only, I was wrong.
A few months back , I ran into this man and he reminded me about that blog post and told me he knew it was about him. He knew I admired him deeply.
Such is the power of publishing.
I thought noBody cared what I wrote. But the man I cared for kept a close watch, studied me whether I meant what I wrote and came to light when the time was right.
That is why writing is so powerful and important. I know I maybe touching the life of just one person positively but that matters. My words matter. My thoughts matter. My opinions matter. I am alive and that matters.
It's an old movie and one of my favourite. The reason it is my favorite is because it has a female hero. I had spoken so much about it to my boyfriend that we finally found time last night to watch it.
"It's so good...Isn't it?" I asked him , wide eyed excited to hear his opinion.
" Yeah it's good. Something like Rajnikanth movies. She is able to do absolutely everything, survive any challenge and fight the best trained commandos and spies of America and Russia! Best!"
It took some time to sink in. One of my favourite hollywood action movie was compared to south india's superhero movie! I laugh at Rajanikanth movies because they defy logic.i could never understand why they were such hits. I saw a few clips where he rides a bike off a cliff and lands on a parachute where the villain has captured the heroine. And another time he beats his feet on the ground and the vibration is enough to kill the enemies. It's good comedy at best. One needs to park their brains at home and happily go to the theatre to get entertained . Salt, is an intense movie.
But watch closely and you definitely see the similarities. The plot is interesting of course, acting perfect. Technically Hollywood movies nail it. But is it possible for one person to be so highly trained, smart to outdo everyone? That too a normal human being. Not a superman!
No.
If Evelyn Salt can jump from one trailer to the other on a multi storeyed highway at around 120km/hr, murder the Russian Prime Minister who has z security and get away with it, fall/jump from the helicopter into ice cold lake and escape...then absolutely, Rajanikanth can beat his legs on the ground and kill people, he can catch the bullet midway and change its direction to wherever he wishes!
😋 If this is possible, that is also possible!
Here's a thing about fiction that non fiction can never have.
Reading good Fiction makes me not have my own children, or any career or anything to do but sit aT home and read and I keep wishing the book never ends.
Non fiction makes me want my own children, a career , an audience maybe to share what all knowledge I have gathered.
Fiction makes you young at heart, excited and adventure hungry.
Non fiction makes you feel intelligent.
That's it.
The more spiritual books I read, more I get aware of my agitation towards external stimuli that I get angry with. Such as yesterday, I reacted to the news. I couldn't shake it off for a few hours. How dare they treat us hindus like this? If we get angry, which we are getting, we will finish off everything they know in the name of democracy. Suddenly there was a 'We' and 'They' . It is so easy to get angry, so damn easy to get hurt, to react, to act out of ego! I wonder when will the time come when I will laugh out at a comment of a colleague, lovingly nurture each and every person I come in touch with without regard to how they have treated me in the past, or what their views are about the world.
Why should everyone be like me? Why should everyone think the way I do? Or react the way I do? Why should the world be the way I want it? The world is the way all of us want it. Each and everyone of our wishes are taken care of by our world today. I have a little bit of what I like in it, someone else has a little bit of what they like. It's all of our home. Not just mine or yours. It belongs to all of us....All the plants and the animals and other creatures included.
I realise that I have to stop hating other humans. I mean , seriously! I don't hate any other creature as much as my own species. We Humans are obnoxious. I know a few good ones of course...That is why I manage to survive. But some are ....What can I say?.....I become speechless in their company. I start looking around for the Exit Door of that situation. I start wishing I was the real Sita who can go underground!
The point is to be able to balance out these extremities. To neither get over excited with the people I love nor depressed with those I hate. I have managed to lower down the temperatures at both ends over the years. It may not be visible to naked eye though. But I know I don't get too happy or too sad even in situations which call for it.
But we have a myriad emotions. It's not just about happy and sad. There is 'anger' for an example. I don't get so angry that I start shaking...I used to back in college. And before that in school I used to start crying. Post college , I could argue and hold myself and drive the other person to tears. Even now , I do argue. But who I am arguing with has become a major consideration. I argue with people I know are sensible. I argue with my parents and boyfriend. I have stopped arguing with friends and other family members. I neither feel the need to convince them nor educate them about my point of view. Why should I? There is a general indifference towards people who I don't live with. Because those who matter don't mind my choices and those who don't matter, I don't mind what they feel about my choices.
But spiritual books say that this 'indifference' is not a positive sign. It comes out of not valuing other people. If I value other people, they sit on my head and tell me how I should drive my car. That too when I am not even going where they want to go. I am on my path...Separately, with my tribe..Yet they want to tell me what to do. See...That is why I feel humans are obnoxious.
Spiritual path is the most practical, hard path I have come across so far. Nothing I read makes sense until it is used in real life. And using that sort of advice is a very hard task.
But that's why I like it.
I love challenges.
Three women from Tamil Nadu were arrested by the Kerala police late Monday evening for attempting to enter the Vavar mosque near Sabarimala.
They have been charged under section 153 A of the IPC (Promoting enmity between different groups on grounds of religion, race, place of birth, residence, language, etc.) and will be presented before the magistrate after the police record their arrest.
This is going to lead to trouble. This inequality is what will lead to riots. This and many more such instances makes me question the sanity of our law makers , and yes I am a law graduate and I think a lot about the legal system in India, which needs a complete revival. I could never understand why a country which fought for it's independence and lost their people in that struggle had to blindly lift the old colonial systems and copy paste them on the new nation? If they could come up with Constitution, why couldn't they take the time to re-write , consider, study other systems and make their own? It's as if we got independence , we hurriedly did some painting job on the outside with the Constitution and there it was !!! A brand new nation!
Incorrect.
We did not build a brand new nation. We only carried out an exercise which was a transfer of power from the colonialists to the Indian Elite who were educated at that time, and currently we follow some pre historic 3rd hand brand of Democracy which is neither impressive nor practical nor useful. It's just a sham, a shell with a hollow core.
I did get around to do some of the things on my to do list, but majorly I didn't achieve much. I have a mind block on Monday. I have observed it for a long time. I don't do any job so Mondays shouldn't suck, but old habits die hard. And there is generally something in the air that smells like Monday which aint too good...Hmmm....
Actually, Monday for us here in Margao is a holy day. It is the day of Shiva. The Mondays on which I visit temples and do all things spiritual and divine, it's a good Monday. But if I keep this day as my usual work day, then .....Well! It's a waste!
I should remember this next time.
Mondays should be kept for outdoor visits- temples especially.
The good things that happened today: ( Good things always happen on every day) : I made a new flowerbed out of an old basin!!! Yaaay! And it was so much fun!
I woke up at a comfortable time, had my breakfast, cleaned up half my front porch, made a meal for my boyfriend and here I am with a happy Sunday!
I have realised that the simpler I keep my life, happier I am. In fact it is not about happy or sad...It's just calm, peaceful, everyday small things that keep me happy.
This is a destination and I want to celebrate it with this post. I wasn't always a happy person. In fact I counted on only big events to add to my happiness jar. As time went by, I had fewer and fewer things to count on and I became a sad little person moving around in my negative blob of energy. Obviously with that sort of energy, nothing worked.
But as they say, every challenge is an opportunity to learn something new. If it weren't for those tough times, I would have never realised what it takes to be happy. I used every bit of that opportunity to explore what was messing me up. Here's a short list of things to do to cheer up your life. These worked for me, and if you are out of ideas, you could use some of mine.
A. Negative energy is contagious. If you are feeling sad , chances are that it's inside as well as outside of you. It is very difficult to work on the inside without getting some fresh air. So first thing to do is to get out of negative places/people/conversations/influences such as TV or movies! Start with the easier options first: stop watching series such as Game of Thrones, the least you should do is read all that crap. It's dramatic, exciting , everyone's talking about it....Yeah right! And those negative vibrations are somewhere down there rocking your boat. Martin made his money , he got what he wanted but it's up to each one of us to choose whether we want that sort of negativity in our lives.
B. Negative people bring negative conversations: It is not very difficult to find really positive people around. And you would be surprised to find that the really simple, calm ones are the most positive lot. The more extravaganza you see in a person, rest assured ,negativity is bound to come with them. It's simple math. Happiness is simple. Complication comes out of ego. And ego is negative. Although finding a 100% positive person may not be possible, it is also true that you will attract people depending on the vibration that you send out. If your negativity is at 80%, people with tolerance level to 20% negativity will keep out of you. Even if that person is standing right in front of your eyes , you won't vibe.
C. Start doing the simple things: Growing plants from seeds has been one such completely positive experience for me. So is taking care of pets, or simply spending time talking to them. Next are kids....Kids naturally have a high positive dimension (at least the one's I run into), I absolutely love spending time with them. Read positive books. One sure shot way to reduce the drama in our lives is to choose what material we read and watch. Ever since I have stopped watching movies and reading popular fiction, the drama in my life has disappeared.
D. Watch every input in your system: Food : Another important input is food. Who is cooking it? What is their state of my when they cooked it? Are they calm and content people or always hot headed and falling sick? Are they cooking out of love? What are their intentions for you?
Conclusion: I love to eat home made food, and especially by people who are loving and nice. I look at the person first, their temperament, what they talk etc and then sign up to eat with them. Ofcourse, this isnt always possible...But I like to follow it as much as possible. Fortunately my mom and my boyfriend are fantastic cooks and calm, simple people...Makes my life easier to follow this rule.
E. Watch your output: Words, both spoken and written. Some bad words are popular and make us feel cool but they don't help us raise our vibration. So first thing, stop cussing. This one was a tough one for me as I was too used to using a certain peculiar word in every sentence. I have reduced it, but once in a while it happens and I immediately regret it.
Thoughts: What kind of thoughts we get depends completely on what we have put into our system. Feed the brain garbage and that is what you will have. In order to think good thoughts, watch your input closely.
Why to bother with all this???
Be the change you want to see in the world. We often complain about the negativity in our system, blame our politicians or superiors. I believe we end up in those places and face those situations because we have that negativity in us. You will see the difference the moment you start working on raising your vibration. There will be fewer instances of running into bad people. Yes you may change your career like I did mine. Corporate law is one of the most negative to choose as a career. But I applied the breaks of that car and got out of it and ran as far as I could to save my life.
Result?
I am happier, calmer and getting better as a human being. Better clothes, titles, and false prestige from near and dear one's feels good from the outside. But what truly matters is how I feel inside and that is where my focus is. If my inside environment is good, my outside is good. It's just a reflection.
Try this experiment.
It's worth it.
I am reading the book " The complete works of Swami Vivekananda, vol 1" and these are some of the lessons worth noting:
1.Pleasure is not the goal of man, but knowledge. This knowledge, is inherent in man.
2. The external world is simply the suggestion, the occasion, which sets you to study your own mind, but the object of your study is always your own mind.
3. Watch a man do his most common actions; those are indeed the things which will tell you the real character of a great man. Great occasions rouse even the lowest of human beings to some kind of greatness, but he alone is the really great man whose character is great always, the same wherever he be.
4. A fool may buy all the books in the world, and they will be in his library; but he will be able to read only those that he deserves to; and this deserving is produced by karma.
5. Fulfil your desire for power and everything else, and after you have fulfilled the desire, will come the time when you will know that they are all very little things.
As I move an inch closer to Ayurveda, meditation, calmer life and a step further from my old life...I realise that in the same location, I am dealing with two separate dimensions. No, the juggle isn't fun. One seems shallow, immature , fake...other looks divine, profound and sustainable. I am aware that usually there are problems with every system. No system is perfect. It all depends on the level of tolerance and acceptance.
Now, here's the situation. The ritualistic/vedic/old/traditional system that I am walking towards has been systematically rejected by people.
A. Because it was too strict.
B. Didn't suit them/ didn't make them happy.
C. It was forced on them by society or family.
This is what I feel about my current social system:
A. only thing that matters is material possessions.
B. Doesn't suit me/ doesn't make me happy/content/fulfilled.
C. I feel I am forced to keep up with a certain lifestyle that I don't want to follow.
The way out is knowledge. I am reading Swami Vivekanand extensively to try and understand how to manage this switch.
Surprisingly, there are a lot more answers in Swami's writings than what I expected.
