WEC-Day 24- How it feels when someone judges you without knowing you personally!

And how does it feel when they start judging you because they know something about you?

I learnt an important lesson today. Judging is judging. Whether they know you or they dont. Nobody will ever know you as much as you do.

Nobody else has been in my shoes as much as I have. I know why I took the decisions I took, what it took to take those tough decisions etc. Nobody has the right to judge me from their comfortable positions.

When I feel that sting, it means I should also not carry on that experience to others. But don't I judge? I do. Why do I judge?

Now that's an interesting question.

Okay so I am aware of these feelings, the more important question now is, what do I do to remove them? How do I neutralize these emotions?

First step:

Catch yourself while you are having these feelings and plainly observe how it feels. Does it hurt? Yes. Does it create negative emotions and energy? Yes.

Why does it hurt? Who exactly is hurt?

Ans: It hurts the ego who wants to always feel superior and wants to be appreciated. And maybe it is a fact that I am not comfortable about myself, something that I don't own 100%.

When someone else talks about my achievements and I happen to overhear it, I feel so good, isn't it? I feel proud, accomplished, happy, satisfied. And when someone criticises me, talks negatively about me, the same I feels demotivated, ashamed and embarrassed maybe, sad and depressed too sometimes.

Anything that can make me feel good about myself and bad about myself are tools of the ego. That's how it's got control over me. And the only way to take back the control is to keep the balance and be neutral during ups and downs.

Step 2: How to be neutral

A. Here logic helps a lot. If I am happy, I question myself- why am I so happy today? Aah! I got this....Okay....So does that mean if I don't get it the next time I will be sad? I maybe. But I don't want to. So what to do? Don't be happy or sad. Be neutral. Be peaceful. Be joyous.

B. It's not so easy to follow point A, so try this: Be in the moment. (Where else can you be?☺️) Observe ( Are you watching closely?) What is the object of happiness? What is the object of our sadness? Mostly it is words, actions, people, circumstances ,expectations etc.

C. Try C, Resolve to not react. Do not react with any emotion. This is how it works...First there is an external stimuli , we notice it- take the information in- our brain processes the information- selects appropriate response based on our experience and study and then we deliver that response. This process happens so fast that we don't even notice when we have selected a response and delivered it...It feels automatic. But it's not. It is selected by us. We are choosing every moment. And that process has become so damn fast that we don't even know why certain things are happening the way they are happening. Guess what? It's all happening because of us. We are responsible for our own lives and whatever happens in it- 100%. Now slow down that process , will you? We need to study every stage in order to be able to pull the plug at the right instance. Otherwise expect only fireworks! ☺️