Day 20 - WEC- Keeping the balance of mind

The more spiritual books I read, more I get aware of my agitation towards external stimuli that I get angry with. Such as yesterday, I reacted to the news. I couldn't shake it off for a few hours. How dare they treat us hindus like this? If we get angry, which we are getting, we will finish off everything they know in the name of democracy. Suddenly there was a 'We' and 'They' . It is so easy to get angry, so damn easy to get hurt, to react, to act out of ego! I wonder when will the time come when I will laugh out at a comment of a colleague, lovingly nurture each and every person I come in touch with without regard to how they have treated me in the past, or what their views are about the world.

Why should everyone be like me? Why should everyone think the way I do? Or react the way I do? Why should the world be the way I want it? The world is the way all of us want it. Each and everyone of our wishes are taken care of by our world today. I have a little bit of what I like in it, someone else has a little bit of what they like. It's all of our home. Not just mine or yours. It belongs to all of us....All the plants and the animals and other creatures included.

I realise that I have to stop hating other humans. I mean , seriously! I don't hate any other creature as much as my own species. We Humans are obnoxious. I know a few good ones of course...That is why I manage to survive. But some are ....What can I say?.....I become speechless in their company. I start looking around for the Exit Door of that situation. I start wishing I was the real Sita who can go underground!

The point is to be able to balance out these extremities. To neither get over excited with the people I love nor depressed with those I hate. I have managed to lower down the temperatures at both ends over the years. It may not be visible to naked eye though. But I know I don't get too happy or too sad even in situations which call for it.

But we have a myriad emotions. It's not just about happy and sad. There is 'anger' for an example. I don't get so angry that I start shaking...I used to back in college. And before that in school I used to start crying. Post college , I could argue and hold myself and drive the other person to tears. Even now , I do argue. But who I am arguing with has become a major consideration. I argue with people I know are sensible. I argue with my parents and boyfriend. I have stopped arguing with friends and other family members. I neither feel the need to convince them nor educate them about my point of view. Why should I? There is a general indifference towards people who I don't live with. Because those who matter don't mind my choices and those who don't matter, I don't mind what they feel about my choices.

But spiritual books say that this 'indifference' is not a positive sign. It comes out of not valuing other people. If I value other people, they sit on my head and tell me how I should drive my car. That too when I am not even going where they want to go. I am on my path...Separately, with my tribe..Yet they want to tell me what to do. See...That is why I feel humans are obnoxious.

Spiritual path is the most practical, hard path I have come across so far. Nothing I read makes sense until it is used in real life. And using that sort of advice is a very hard task.

But that's why I like it.

I love challenges.