Day 27- WEC- I Love You

Throughout my life I met men who told me they loved me. One told me on the 5th day of meeting me that he had fallen in love with me and on the 15th day he told me he wanted to marry me. By day 30th, he had sent me the entire plan of our lives- how many kids we would have, what our daughter would be called, when we will marry, where we will live, what I will do post marriage, what name I will take post marriage, he even decided  who our daughter would look Like....

Obviously I was overwhelmed and grateful for the love showered over me. But no , I did not believe he was in love with me.

Your first experience of something new is the deal maker. A whole lot depends on it.

I married the first man I was in a relationship with and that ended up in a divorce. I thought that was true love, but things changed fast. I was in love by 20 and badly broken by 24! I concluded that love was selfish, controlling, hurtful and made up of all things negative.

Then how come my mother lived with my father for so long?  Is it because women always give up on their dreams and needs in favour of the man they marry? Is that the definition of a successful marriage? Of true love?

Many women , who seemed to be in so called successful marriages ,came to me and told me how miserable they were with their husbands. " Then why don't you leave him?" I asked. The answers were different kinds of excuses.

"I have a daughter, who would marry her? I don't even have a job."

" I can't live alone, who would marry a divorced woman?"

"My family will abandon me."

Oh I see. So, I was scared to live alone too. I didn't have a job and my parents didn't support my decision at first.
I ran away from home and decided I will make a brand new life. I simply couldn't live a lie. I didn't want to upset the social order. But every woman who chooses a divorce ends up being the Bitch in the eyes of docile , internally frustrated kind of women.

Whatever the cons, I decided to focus on the pros.
I decided to live as a Tiger for a day rather than an entire life of being sheep.

Divorce is an ugly experience. It teaches you a lot. It teaches you who has the balls and who doesn't. It teaches you that at the end of the day, you fend for yourself, you are alone. It is amongst those times where you must walk alone. And when you do that , you learn to get tough. You pick up whatever weapon you have on you, whether it's your sharp tongue, intellect, or friends and family.....You learn to build your defences, you learn to attack in order to protect yourself and in time, you thrive. With the intense mental training of fighting the society and your internal blocks, you get confident, fearless and unbeatable.

I learnt to trust again, I learnt to see through people's lies, I learnt to take risks and get out alive and after almost 10 years of this life, when some guy looked into my eyes and told me he wanted to marry me because he wants to make a life with me, wants children with me....I thought maybe....This time....It is true....But as habit is hard to break, I tested him, and he passed. Every damn time.

True love exists.
Many people have made a mockery out of it because love is a free term to use. If people were fined for using it in the wrong places and ruining people's lives and not standing by what they say, then stupid careless, selfish, immature people would keep away from that term.

But I don't see that kind of law will ever find a place in our great efficient and successful legal system. Where the polluters, corrupt, ill willed get away , what place do love offenders have?  By those standards, these kind of people who hurt others in love are saints!