WEC-Day 12- Happy New Year!

Ever since I decided to spend the NYE by myself, my life or at least the start of a brand new year is a calm and a conscious affair! This lesson was learnt after a lot of failed parties and over drunk outings of course. Anyway, late aaye lekin durust aaye.

The hype of a new year and the excitement created through clever marketing is hard to match the environment inside me. I am usually in a good mood at say around 7 on 10. That's my normal range. The expectation these events create is of a 10 on 10 or a 12 on 10...Something unbelievable. Then the event actually takes place and the mood drops down to a 5 or something because expectations were not met.

The best strategy now is to not believe marketing, advertisements and the social call for Celebrations. Each person's happiness index is different and I don't think it's a clever idea to forcefully try and match them all at 12 midnight. That way we overlook our own wellbeing in  the interest of the sentiment of everyone around.

I like being my genuine self. Not feel pushed or pulled by the sentiment outside me, and be in touch with the ambience within me as much as possible. That way I get a better handle over my moods and deeper feelings and can drive my life the way I like it. Neither too fast nor slow, not North or South..Just follow the inner radar and I am fine!

I was at home this NYE. I studied the first few chapters of Sanskrit text book and practised some of the exercises. Had a quiet dinner with my family. Then went for a night stroll with my pets outside my house. My cat loves to sit on the swing with me and watch the night activities around. While my dogs like to sniff the compound for the last check of the day before they hit the sack. Had a simple, straight conversation with my boyfriend before bed and woke up with a smile on my face - and a small realization.. I can treat every day as a brand new year and feel awesome about it. Why do I need a calender to celebrate this life?

WEC- Day 11- Satvik Movement

Found this wonderful channel on youtube called Satvik Movement. Here's the URL, I think you must listen to her.

https://youtu.be/IgMwL6Y--HU

Like many , I am losing faith in western medicine and dislike the way doctors prescribe expensive medicines for simple colds and coughs. Finding an alternative is time consuming mainly because it requires a full lifestyle change. I realised I can't be eating the same old food, do the same old things, read the same old books and become any different.

The different layers and dimensions at which this change has affected my life is not something I can note down in one blog post. From food to books to company to thoughts ....I can feel the wheels within me roll to a different beat and it all started with one big decision : to Become a vegetarian!

Nobody ever told me this , when you stop eating non veg and masala foods you will actually become calm, less angry and less agitated. I hear people complain about how they are getting more and more angry and how their temper is flying out of control. Simply meditating and exercising won't help. I have tried those 2, but without you changing the engine oil, your system won't work smooth.

It's something each one of us should decide.
People mock me for becoming a vegetarian but simply put, I am experiencing the bliss and those who are mocking me have their minds pushing and pulling them in ways they are sick of and yet they won't stop eating the wrong foods. Why? I wonder!

Somehow people think eating non veg is cool and being a vegetarian is ancient philosophy. People also tell me how multi cultural it is to be a non vegetatian...... "So that you never feel out of place in any country you visit."

Really?

Well! I happen to know a thing or two about logic and I can tell you more twisted logic* hasn't been used just to cover how blindly they are following  western thought without questioning or using their intellect. That is because they do not have original thinking process. Original thought has been hijacked by advertisements ,marketing and social pressures.

* Twisted Logic is actually no logic. It's just some BS to prove your point, but you still want to believe it is logic. Logic is that which follows from clear thought process. "I am eating non veg because I like to eat it." is good. " I am eating non veg because I want to fit in with my foreign colleagues and their parties!" What's this BS?

Anyway, its Holiday time and I am getting to hear a lot of BS.
In order to keep my balance, I watch good videos, read good books and eat the right food.

" But it's my birthday today and I made the cake myself...how can you be so rude and not eat it?"

ahem ahem!
That's my life! :-)

WEC- Day 10- How far can you go for the love of saree?

I had decided in my 20's that I would shift over to sarees as my primary dress code when I hit 30's. I like to wear sarees. Why I like sarees maybe because I always watched my mom in one and she looks gorgeous in a saree. Obviously, I want to look gorgeous too!

I am not sure how comfortable I would be wearing them daily though. ..But I guess it's about the mindset. I was most uncomfortable in formal office wear and high heels and I worked in them for the sake of the job! Sarees rank nowhere on the list of discomfort compared to formal western wear. Next in line is the swimsuit! Just to wear one and catwalk to the pool is a nightmare. One , because I can feel the eyes on me. Two, because I have never been comfortable exposing to that extent. And three, because it doesn't vibe with me.

Saree on the other hand completely vibes with me. Having so much fabric around me feels heavenly. I get a similar feeling when I do layering on contemporary wear. Scarves, shawls, jackets...Anything. Since a saree is also a lot of layers , it feels satisfying to carry it on.

Mamma is out for weddings and that is my favourite time to take out my favourite picks from her collection and try it on.

The time has finally come to finalize my own saree wardrobe as I head to the shastra shaala. I often wonder why I am so keen on this lifestyle change? Is it because I will finally have a reason to wear a saree every day? Lol! That would be totally weird...But knowing me, I can never be sure. I actually laid out all of them on my bed and even fell asleep in them! Waah! That was the best nap of my life!

Time to change! This is the 5th saree of the day I am draped in... :-)

Tata! And happy holidays!

WEC- Day 9- Grow a plant!

Recently, I started learning how to grow plants and take care of them. The goal is to be self sustainable in the next 10 years and reduce dependence on the government and companies to provide for food, clothing, shelter etc.

This needs a complete lifestyle change . And that is a tough call. I have never grown food, or stitched clothes or made the furniture I use, or made the houses I lived in. I feel it would be totally cool to be able to take care of all my needs. Imagine the learning curve offered by this lifestyle! Wow!

It was in 2012 that I heard of people living life off the grid in Canada and in some other western countries. Initially I was doubtful whether I would be able to do the same. Was I okay experimenting alone? Experience taught me that I need company.
It took me time and hard work and a lot of risky ventures.....
But...
I am happy to announce that I found my tribe.  :-)
Which means I am falling out of my old tribe. The transition is a bit stressful, people question all the time, sometimes they mock, other times they comment and make fun of me because they don't understand the philosophy of my life. Initially it hurt me, it got me upset but eventually I realised it's not coming from a bad place. These are my people, they care about me, they want me...It's just that me falling out of their tribe isn't something they appreciate. I understand their sentiment.

But I must live a life on my terms. I must live a life which makes sense to me. If it is against the flow, then be it.

And it all starts with growing a small plant.
A small idea in 2012 has germinated today. After so many years working underground. It's a very happy day for me. I know that the journey is very long. I need to protect and nurture this baby plant until it can be on its own. It feels like motherhood. Let me tell you this...This is any day more satisfying than passing an important exam or getting a good job somewhere or earning a fat paycheck. I swear this feels good. Try it. Take a seed and plant it in a pot, care for it every day...And watch it grow..That small thing in the mud has the power to suck your negativity, stress and uplift your vibration a great deal and make you into a better human being.

I don't know why they don't share this wisdom in schools?
We don't need information , we need wisdom!

WEC- Day 8- Because I am extremely ambitious!

Meaning of Ambition: having or showing a strong desire and determination to succeed.

I am a ruthlessly ambitious woman. My ambitions range from climbing a peak to learning an ancient language. From exploring an alternate lifestyle to adjusting to a vedic system. 

I always ask myself the question- what new am I learning? What different experiences am I collecting? What's it like to choose a different course of action? How does it feel when you don't fit in anymore?

Ambition is what you make of it.

Ambition can be interpreted the way Ambani's , the Bollywood actors and the page 3 fraternity makes of it.

Or it can be interpreted the way Baba Amte ,Mahendra Sethiya (Jnana Prabodhini -Pune)and Dr.Ravindra Kolhe do it.

I prefer the latter.
A. Because my parents brought me up in the company of down to earth people.
B. When you have a close encounter with successful people at a young age, and these are people in serious social work, it changes your perspective for life .

Ignorance is always bold, knowledge hesitates.

The more I study, the more humble I am ignited to be. It is the quiet ambition that is braver than loud empty words of people in big positions.

It's not the wealth, the position, the recognition....It's the real contribution that matters...How many lives are you changing positively?What's the impact of your life on this planet? How much does this earth shell out to maintain your lifestyle?

To each his own.
To each her own.

There are little eyes upon you

and they're watching night and day.

There are little ears that quickly

take in every word you say.

There are little hands all eager

to do anything you do;

And a little boy who's dreaming

of the day he'll be like you.

You're the little fellow's idol,

you're the wisest of the wise.

In his little mind about you

no suspicions ever rise.

He believes in you devoutly,

holds all you say and do;

He will say and do, in your way

when he's grown up just like you.

There's a wide-eyed little fellow

who believes you're always right;

and his eyes are always opened,

and he watches day and night.

You are setting an example

every day in all you do;

For the little boy who's waiting

to grow up to be just like you.

WEC- Day 7- Year End Review 2018!

As we rush towards the end of the year, I see a lot of people come down to their native place, they want to meet old friends and family. Some like me want to turn inwards and focus on myself rather than getting lost in the glitter and the noise, many others want to forget their pain in the music and the chatter. To each his own.

End of the year is a special time. A time to reflect on the year gone by. I ask myself these questions every year end , and as years roll by I can see where I am going.

Here's the list of questions:

1. List 10 highlights of this year.
2. List 10 disappointments
3. What were the 3 game changers this year?
4. What were the things I focussed on?
5. What were the things I forgot about?
6. List the things I love in my life.
7. "We are what we do repeatedly. " What are the good things I have been doing repeatedly? And what are the bad things I did repeatedly?
8. List the times when I felt most empowered?
9. What questions do you want to ask yourself in order to discover yourself?
10. What would you do if you could not fail?

Try it. Take your time. Sit with a paper and a pen. Make sure you save this list so you can check out next year end how much you have changed. Be truthful to yourself. Don't steal others dreams. The point is to find your own unique path.

At the end, write down your reflections...Are you living the life you desired? Or are you simply making someone else happy?

Think about it...

There is so much to learn every single day- WEC- Day 6

I am absolutely looking forward to the new year as I begin a brand new journey , explore a new lifestyle, a new language and a new way of being.

Sometime in March this year I came across a different kind of school. For the past few years I have been exploring the topic of education system in India , how screwed up it is and what needs to be done to revive it. Reviving is a bit of a far off call, but people are choosing an alternate route.

I heard of the University of Life :
https://youtu.be/oLSTTVRwfHY

So this school I visited in March is a gurukul and they teach 5 kinds of shastra here. It is called Shastra shaala. It is based on the ancient indian system of education and run in its pure form. Women and people of any age and any background can learn shastra here. They teach nyaya, mimansa, vyakran and vedaant. They also teach sanskrit literature, patanjali yog and ayurved. Basically the medium of instruction is sanskrit , so once you know that language each and every knowledge treasure of india opens it's doors to you. It is upto the individual how far they want to pursue it.

From the day I visited it the first time till today , I have visited it a dozen times and the more I go there, the more I feel the pull towards this place.

When I studied law, one regret I felt and one gap that constantly kept pinching me was the knowledge gap. Did india get it's laws only after the British came here? Didn't indians have any law before the english arrived? Is the British system the best way to run this country?

The Britishers came and they have left long back. Why are we still stuck with their ways of living? There is a lot of party politics here and people who scream at others and preach the Indian way of living. But what is truly needed is actually working on the vedic system, learning it, spreading it. You can't just talk about being a hindu, or of traditions and rituals without ever reading the actual shastra. The people who preach here are themselves ignorant. That is why I overlooked each and every advice I was given by hindu fanatics.  But when I actually met a shastri, visited the shastra shaala, that is when I bow down and listen with all my heart.

I am starting my vedic education in 2019. And I am looking forward to it.... Absolutely!

Stop shopping- WEC- Day 5

Some 5 years back I learnt that this whole consumerism is driving the planet to hell. One thing I was clear of from the very beginning was that I want to be a part of the solution, not contribute to the problem. At that time I was working in a company, I was a part of the corporate environment. No matter how much I tried, I couldn't drop  "shopping" from my life. New job always meant new clothes, in fact a brand new wardrobe. I soon realised I was making money to spend on  clothes I didn't need ...I mean who likes formal clothes? Not me! Thank you very much. This was followed by another big realization , I was working my ass off trying to make a career that was in no way contributing to any sustainable solution. Being a corporate lawyer meant helping and assisting 'mostly' greedy people. It also meant spending a lot of time with the wrong kinds of people. These people were in no way interested in a cleaner environment or a sustainable lifestyle. They seemed only interested in making more money- whichever way that may be...Legal ways of course.....But not sustainable.

I realised that I can't be working with and for such people while believing in  other kinds of  values. That is fooling myself and I am not very good at it. I had to make a choice. There was  social pressure of course.....To so called 'Prove myself'. I had already 'earned' a higher degree for that purpose. I was told i should now buy my own house, my own car., Perhaps start my own company, make more money..More material gains is a sign of happiness. I already live in a big house, we have one vehicle each per member of the family. How much more should I lust for? When is this going to stop? Until I buy my own jet or I build a vacation Home on the moon?

I don't understand where we went wrong as a society when elders give such empty advice.

Bhagavad Gita ek baar padhna toh banta hai yaar!

Just because the Americans or the British don't follow the Gita don't mean we should drop what we have cultivated and mastered on home pitch for generations!

We Indians are so blinded by the west that we have become stupid. 

I decided - this stupidity has to stop. I can not choose to be stupid just because others make that choice. I have nothing to prove to anyone. Buying new clothes or making more money or being rich is not the goal of my life. I chose early in my life to become a good human being- may not be a successful human being, may not be a rich human being. But I want to explore and know what it means to be a mindful, thoughtful, down to earth, sensible human being who not just cares for her own selfish needs but can also think of other life forms around her, I choose to be more sensitive to my environment, I choose kindness, love, forgiveness over greed, cruelty, insensitivity and selfishness.

This has not been a difficult choice. It is any day preferable over feeling guilty about not doing anything about what's happening around. It is said- "Be the Change you want to see in the world!" The change starts with me. The change is possible in every single moment of my life. Last night I was angry with someone for saying something nasty to me (and that happens a lot since I am not following the social norm...So my own people comment ....And sometimes it hurts ), rather than being pissed off at her I chose to forgive her. she doesn't know what she is doing. She is unaware of her words , she is not mindful of her actions, if she knew what effect her words have over me, she wouldn't do it. Why would anyone want to hurt anyone intentionally? We hurt others out of self defence, out of our own insecurities. It is a choice we make. It is not necessary that just because you have been hurt, you need to hurt someone else. Once Oprah Winfrey was asked by a mom who had murdered her infant baby " Do you hate me? Everyone hates me." And Oprah said "no. I don't hate you. I can see what you have done and I can see you did that out of your pain. I choose to do something else with my pain."

We all hold that power of choice.
We are not aware of it.
Perhaps making a different choice needs a tid bit more courage...That's all. But imagine what we can achieve if we all show some courage...We could reduce the pollution, we could reduce the wastage, we could be more loving!

New year resolutions and the struggle to keep it up- WEC- Day 4

As the year rushes to an end, I struggle with my daily schedule ....trying to fit in the  the new year resolutions "Going live" from 1st of January.
Writing every day seems to come naturally to me, 2nd nature.
But waking up early?
Exercise every day?
Meditation one hour a day!??

Ahem ...Ahem....

And one more...

No sweets- no chocolates- no pastries.

Do new year resolutions really help?
What do we do when mid year we fail ourselves on the promises we make ?

I have a solution.
Some 4 years back I came up with an idea . It's called the year end review. I also do half yearly reviews just to check where I am flowing. This is not to suggest that I am a control freak and I want to watch over each and every detail of my life. But yes, some things in life are important and they must be done otherwise life seems such a waste.

I made a resolution 4 years back to become a vegetarian. I could fulfil that one only this year. It was a back and forth process. I would quit for a few months, then comes a family function  and my favourite chicken dish would be cooked, my family would tell me 'it's okay sweetheart' and I would pop in the piece . This happened for 4 years until this year, when I no longer could derive pleasure out of the food in my mouth. It happened automatically. It tasted dead, empty. All I could think of is the way the poultry industry works and mishandles life. Now chicken feels like  crime served on a plate.

My next big stop is to quit garlic and onion.

And next to next is to completely shift over to pranic foods.

It's possible. It may not happen this very year...It may not even happen the next and next to next year. But as long as what I resolve is kept up with, I am good and I believe in giving myself a big pat on my back.

Catch every moment in complete awareness- WEC- Day 3

This is what I learnt today:

1. To catch every moment in complete awareness, one has to slow down the pace of life.

2. To slow down the pace- breathe in- a long and a slow one.. , choose to 'not react' to situations around you. This one is a bit tough. Everything is designed to poke you to react.

3. Observe more. What is happening without "I" doing anything?

4. This one is taught to me by my younger brother Dhruv. He says "Learn to do nothing." And it has worked. You don't always have to do something or the other, let things flow at their own pace.

5. Don't do things that don't feel right. If it is stressing you out, it's not worth it. There is good stress and bad stress. Bad stress comes from Ego. So watch out.

Falling Deeper- WEC- Day 2

This time I caught myself right in that moment ....Do you remember? That time when you quietly slipped a stage deeper in love?

That is a scary moment!

You know you are thinKing more about him than usual. You can't eat your meal without wondering whether your better half has had his. Every celebration feels incomplete without his presence. You got to call or text them once a day at least..... even when you know you are meeting him at night. And something feels amiss if you don't spend countless hours in his arms - doing absolutely nothing of great importance....Just running fingers through his hair, or telling him about every small thought that crossed my Mind...

Love is a scary place. It's like an animal that everyone touches blindfold and nobody knows what it really is...Some say  it's nasty, some say it's complicated...Some think it's beautiful, soft , loving.....

This time, like no other time before, I realised that I am on my journey into that little known and a little unknown world again.

Do I want to do it again?

I want to.

Love is worth it.
Very few things in life are as worth as love. It is risky, it is scary, it may be painful, it may hurt, I may wish I had not done it...I may regret. But no I won't stop until I find out what it is.

Someone at some point comes around and he makes it worth every tear you shed in the past, worth every year you thought you wasted. Suddenly the dark place lights up with thousand colors. It's not a place outside, it's a place inside your heart, inside your brain and it runs wild through your veins.

If you are someone who got hurt in the process, I'd say....."Hang on in there ....Be true to yourself and keep walking....It takes time , it takes patience, it takes tremendous faith...But that beautiful place exists."

Write Everyday Challenge- day 1

I have been writing since I was 13 years old.
I started writing in English because I wasn't good at it and I studied in an English medium school where we were punished for speaking in our mother tongue. ( That is how they systematically kill the local language and culture...Bit by bit)

Writing quickly became a habit I loved. I didn't need to open up to anyone because I was writing about it. And I could write whatever I wanted without judgement.

Writing taught me a thing or two about habits. The more of it you do, the more it becomes a part of you. It can not be forced by someone else. You must feel like doing it from within. How the young me 'felt like writing' , I still don't know. Maybe it was the influence of Anne Frank's Diary. Sometimes I still wonder whether I have the kind of insights and wisdom that young German girl had at 13. It was a strange experience. There was nothing common between the two of us except our age. We both were 13..I mean she was 13 when she started writing it and I was 13 when i started reading her Diary. She had an older sister, so did I. She didn't get along with her mum very well, neither did I. And we both trusted our fathers more. Her situations were very different from mine, but I felt a deep connection with her that I remember to this day. I knew her in a way I have never known anyone. I doubt anybody else opened up to me as much as she did.

Anyway, I have quite a few diaries with me by now. I still write. When I don't, I feel like a mess. The whole of year 2018 was about writing. I stopped doing everything else just so that I write. Write stories, plays, ..whatever ...I just couldn't wait for a better time to be able to do this. I love it so much, I can do this all my life, without being paid, without being appreciated, without being known for doing it!

A lot of my friends tell me I should publish a book...and somewhere along even I started feeling the desire to publish a book. Well! How this desire arose in me after writing more than 10 diaries? Why didn't I publish when I had finished writing my very first diary? Did I feel it wasn't of any worth?

Actually, I never wrote for someone else. I always wrote for myself. It never crossed my mind that somebody else should read whatever I am writing. I hid my diaries with great care. I know that a boyfriend or two have read my diaries. One of them even suggested I destroy all of them so that i don't have any memories of my past, he suggested I would feel light after I did that. He convinced me till a great extent....he wanted me to destroy something he himself could not have even dreamt of creating. Yes.. the position of  my planets is so screwed that I do end up running into such horrible people!

But I have also run into some very amazing people! People who inspired me, people who stood by me, people who took the bad name just so that I learn an important lesson. Looking back, I can safely say that I am more blessed than cursed. My Karma keeps the balance! :-)

So the year 2019 is about writing every day on my blog.
Write an observation, or a lesson, an insight, something that happened or about a disappointment, a memory, any feelings, any thoughts..just note down everything I feel on a day to day basis without fail.

Wake up in the morning.
Thank God I am alive!
So, do the thing I like to do the most!
Write! 

Inner Engineering, Vipassana, Landmark Forum, Art of Living...and a lil bit of a wild plant!

Update: 19th December 2018

I have tried so many courses by now. The only reason they didn't work their magic on me is because I haven't been consistent with any of them. Consistency is the key. Regularity a must.

None of these courses are necessarily better than the other. They are all good. They all can yield amazing results if the practitioner shows amazing commitment.

Date: 14th December 2018

 

Contents:

1. Introduction
2. Art of Living
3. Vipassana
4. Landmark Forum
5. Inner Engineering
6. Comparative Analysis
7. And that wild plant
8. Concluding Remarks
9. A few questions and tools to get you started


1. Intro: 

I started writing this post with the intention  to  note down each day's experience at the Inner Engineering program as I am attending the course right now, and then realised I had signed up a form on the very first day promising them that I will not divulge the contents of this course to anyone else.

"Oh come on, you believe in such things?" You may ask me...
"Yes I do." Is my reply.

But I do want to write about my experience minus the details of the course. And not just that, I want to talk about other spiritual explorations I have done in the past few years.

Guess that's fair.

My divorce was the first incident that drew my attention to something beyond the physical and the material life I was fixated in at that moment. I was just 23 and deeply sad with my life situation. Nothing I had hoped for my life had quite worked out that way. I did not know what I had done to deserve the kind of life and situations I was in. That's where the search began...with the question... WHY ME?

Had I been singled out? If yes, why? And who was doing this?
Had I done something terribly wrong in my life to deserve a horrible marriage?
What determines what you get in your life?
I was hard working, focused, intelligent, pretty, forceful, competitive..everything I had watched on TV other women in important positions have...I believed I had it...then, why this?

Initially, I took it as a challenge. I read the autobiographies and biographies of 'successful' individuals! [ Mark that word..... 'successful'..it's important] . I learnt that all of them had faced difficult situations in their lives. There had been mistakes, downfalls, intense depressions, insulting failures....you name it and they had it on their resumes. I once again patted myself for having survived a divorce, I was on the right path, I believed then.

Some more years, degrees and certifications and jobs followed. Some more broken relationships later, I was asking the same questions again!

'Damn it! This whole thing is going round in a circle! Am I really on the right path? If I was, my troubles should have been different at every turn and at every stage...isn't it? But essentially nothing is changing. I am coming back to square one.'

I had to find out what was causing this.

What followed was spiritual shopping. And to do that, you have to be in India!
Lucky me :-)
Whatever I wanted, I had it here. Without wasting any further time, I got started with my shopping list.

2. Art of Living: 

The first course I attended , some 10 years back - was 'Art of Living'. This course taught me basic techniques : asanas, pranayam and meditation.
It helped.
But wasn't enough.....I was hungry for more.
I did the basic and the advance courses. The peace at the Art of Living International centre in Bangalore convinced me that there indeed is heaven on earth. All these places ( Ashrams, meditation centres, Pagodas)  are so calm and peaceful...aren't they? In the middle of the city, this huge ashram had successfully created that divine atmosphere.

I was determined to explore further. The 4 day silence course at AOL didn't work it's magic on me. One of the inmates at the Ashram told me I should try Vipassana if I am really interested in exploring silence.

So there it was, my next destination was 10 days Vipassana course at Bangalore!

3. Vipassana :

Now this is a MUST for every human being on the planet. It's okay if you don't do any other courses , those are add on's. This one should be made mandatory.

Vipassana opened my eyes to the world inside my head for the very first time. I got to see , what they call, the monkey mind. And it was, it really was. It refused to sit in one place no matter what I did. Every Vipassana course is an adventure and I always look forward to the next one.


4. Landmark forum :


The next one was Landmark Forum. It is marketed as a Personality Development program and not as a spiritual experience. But to me, it was a spiritual experience.

I realised that all these courses have a common denominator.
They work on the Mind.
The techniques they prescribe, the practice, cost of the course differ. But the result is that it keeps enhancing one's ability to deal with one's life and maintain calm and peace in most situations.

Landmark Forum is a powerful 4 day course. It shakes your foundation, and repairs your broken wings. It is like updating your software or the processor to the latest technlogy. At the end of the 3rd day, you will go home so damn energized and powerful, you won't believe it! Only if you can survive the first 3 days, that is. It's ruthless to the core....I liked it!

5. Inner Engineering :

Some of the instant benefits of Isha Engineering have been: better focus, calm mind, more productivity and an ability to deal with stressful situations.

Sadhguru is simply brilliant in his lectures.

6. Comparative Analysis: 

	Art of Living	Vipassana	Landmark Forum	Inner Engineering
Fees	Rs.3000 ( This was long back, I hear the prices have gone up!)	Pay as you like or don’t pay.	Approximately Rs.18k	Rs. 2k for the basic course
Instruction	Trained Volunteer	Trained Volunteer + Videos	Trained Coach	Trained Volunteer + Videos
Days	Basic: 3 days	Basic: 10 days	Basic: 4 days	Basic: 6 days
Advance Courses Available	Yes	Yes	Yes	Yes
Advance Courses helpful? ( according to me.)	I tried. They are okay.	Tried. Each Course takes you deeper. This depends on one’s current spiritual status. The teacher’s are well trained to handle the difficulties of the students. They are also very senior people with much life experience and vipassana practice.	Have not tried the advance course. Too expensive. But I have heard it was equally powerful.	Have not tried yet.
What do I have to say about the Guru?	Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: He is witty and peaceful. But I felt a gap somewhere along the way. I needed more clarity and more information which did not come even after I attended advance courses. I was particularly pissed at the Teachers who presided over the advance courses. Did not appreciate their attitude. This may have a thing to do with my own attitude. I can be a difficult case.	This is the original technique as used by Gautama Buddha. And therefore he is the first Guru. S.N Goenka is a teacher whose videos are played every day. And every course has assistant teachers to help students clear their doubts. This is a well rounded , well researched course that could support my intellectual and spiritual thirst. I am 2 courses down and ready for a 3rd one.	There is just one coach for 300 people and he fucks the life out of you single handedly! If not for anything else, just attend a Forum to see the dynamic personalities their coaches carry. Oh My God! They are Brilliant! Absolutely Brilliant!	Sadhguru: I like this guy. I have watched and heard numerous of his talks and they make a lot of sense to me. Their teachers stick to the minimum instructions, just the basics. Everything else is handled by Sadhguru through the videos and that works well.
Would I go for a 2nd / 3rd / 4th one irrespective of the fees?	Unfortunately No. I am done. I was initiated to the 2nd level by someone known. Wouldn't have voluntarily attended a 2nd one.	Yes. Yes. Yes! I do not required any coaxing or anyone asking me to do it. I do it myself.	Yes. Anytime! I will never say a no to a Landmark Forum! Sponsors anyone? ;) ( Heavy marketing is done at each course which is irritating to the core! It is obnoxious!)	I may. A lot of marketing is done at the basic course.
Grades: Which one would I recommend first?	You can actually attend all these courses to experience for yourself what they do to you. Grading won’t help here. Actually comparisons don’t help too. Negative points: Spiritually oriented courses should refrain from marketing . That branch called Marketing ruins human instinct and intellect and our ability to make independent decisions.

7. And that wild plant: 

This one is in a category of it's own. How it will help you depends on what you are thinking at the moment of smoking it. If you are in doubt: DO NOT SMOKE! When you have insecurities in you, they will magnify . How much they magnify depends on your imagination and level of fear.

This plant greatly helped me in my spiritual process. Perhaps that is why it is banned. Because the Government would rather have you drunk and wasted than thoughtful. It's all business, after all. Money scores higher than inner growth.

I have had insights on life the kinds none of the above courses could give. New dimensions opened. I could talk with my cat and my dogs! I am simply Brilliant when i consume this..! Everyone seems to be so lovely and funny ...life seems nicer..isn't that great? But this is when all is well. If you have even one worry at the back of your mind, this particular plant is capable of messing your life to an extent you may regret.

So please, use with caution!
And do not end up in jail!

8. Concluding Remarks: 

I believe everyone , except a few of these people who have become the Guru's need a combination of these courses in order to rise spiritually.

It is a sad observation that people generally are ready to pay for anything that has returns in terms of money value. They want to see whether a particular course can be added on the resume or whether it will help them rise up the ladder in their careers or help them make more money.

Since none of these courses do that, many people do not sign up for them, thereby choosing to be a suffering blob of negative energy and spreading that like a cancer all around them.

These courses have the ability to change your thinking patterns and reset you on a positive note. They help you take a fresh look at life. You will start feeling different, thinking different and making different choices than earlier to the course.

When I had not done any of these courses and not read up on any spiritual content, I wanted the same things i watched on TV because I was an idiot. Our education system doesn't do much to improve the situation. We have made a mess of our country and our planet with that education.

The greed and the thoughtless rat race for more and more is as much shallow as it is destructive. We all want to prove a point to our neighbor, or our friend. We all want to look successful in the eyes of those who are watching us. This mindless pursuit for a word called 'success' , and attaching it next to 'happiness' without understanding the meaning of the two is a recipe for disaster.

I still tend to cook that recipe for myself sometimes. After all, even I am a product of this society and this education system. But this must stop. I can't carry on eating that shit that doesn't serve me anymore. So I am learning about an alternate lifestyle. Learning more about how I can be happy by learning to accept whatever comes my way. I am learning to choose better- set more sensible, environment friendly and inner peace aligned goals.

9. A few questions and tools to get you started

If you are still with me by the end of this article, please take a moment to ask yourself:

1. Am I doing what i am doing for myself or for someone else?
2. Whose voice is ringing in my head?
3. Do I know what I am? Who am I?
4. Am I reading something that will help me understand myself better or am I just collecting information that will make me look smart/ make my company look smart?
5. How much time am I investing in myself v/s in the rest of the world?
6. Am I more involved with the way I look, or dress than the way I feel?
7. Do I feel anything when I see a child begging on the road, or an animal crying in pain or read the news of people dying in war? If yes, what do I feel and why? If no, why have I stopped feeling it? When did I stop feeling it?
8. Is your life path taking you away from people or bringing you closer? Are you a better person than what you were 10 years back or worse? Have the negative tendencies in you gone higher or the positive tendencies in you?
9. Which part of you are you more invested in? In your negativity or your positivity? what are you doing on a regular basis to invest in your positivity?

Tools to get you started:

1. Read the Gita ( Regardless of your religious backgrounds). : Gita is not a religious text. It is advice to human beings. There is no mention of the word  'hindu' in the Gita.  You won't get it the first time you read it, you may not get it even if you are reading it every day of your life without understanding what it means. This one is a power book!

Try this ---> It's free!
https://www.holy-bhagavad-gita.org/

There are a dozen other commentaries on the Gita. Read the basic pocket version first. Then turn to commentaries for deeper understanding.

The process of changing the Thought patterns is slow . It is not like you put in a new software and you will be a brand new You! Takes quite a lot of hard work...go at your own pace. No hurry. Just because my friend can meditate 9 hours a day, I can not. Yes , I have a friend who meditates that much and reads spiritual books and I have seen amazing clarity developing in him. Tried copying his style, did not work for me.

2. Other Books and authors: 

There is Swami Vivekanand, Wayne Dyer, Sadhguru, Ekhart Tolle, Deepak Chopra. Keep searching till you find your mix.

3. Become a vegetarian : 

Yes. Helps. Advantages: Helps keep calm. I used to bounce around a lot when I ate non veg. Now I am much calmer and peaceful. It helps in thinking more clearly, concentration is better.

4. Company matters: 

If you are surrounded by people who are fixated on the material world, then it will be difficult to carve out your path. Find at least one person with whom you can discuss spiritual matters. Try to find someone who is higher than you in their spiritual journey. And yes, be careful not to engage with popat panchi's! These are people who know everything intellectually but nothing on the spiritual level. For them , they get a high out of speaking big things and when it actually comes to walking the path, they fall flat. Behavior patterns to watch out for : Do these people gossip about other people? Are they doing any practice on a regular basis? if yes, which one? Are they consistent with their practice? If not, why not? How are they dealing with their own life?

It's very difficult to find someone who fits this bill. So it is better to follow Guru's, read books etc until you do find someone like that. I consider myself heavily lucky in these matters.

It is better to be a good human being today, than tomorrow. 
It is better to live in the NOW .
A journey of a thousand miles starts with one step......Have you taken yours?