Day 55- WEC- Nothing!

I came across this concept that says 'there is no meaning to life, there is nothing to pursue, nowhere to run, nothing you need to do...just be' , and when I used it in my life , it worked!
I realised that life is getting more and more complicated because of the meaning we try to extract or make out of it every single minute. We want our life to mean something, our social media is screaming about how life is so deep and meaningful, we have profound conversations with intellectuals about how we have figured out the meaning of our lives , we have workshops and seminars to help others find the meaning to their life....it's big business!
But what it does to me? or my planet is disastrous.

See we need to start from the beginning.
And this statement itself is confusing because the moment you find one beginning, you will feel 'no'..there is more to it, and you will go in search of another beginning and so on and so forth.

We come into this world with nothing. And we cry and learn to get food, and we throw some tantrums and learn to get what we want and throughout life we just go on and on wanting more. Our wants are so many that one life isn't enough. Some of us proudly talk about wanting to take another birth to fulfill our desires.

But what is this journey of fulfilling desires?
What is it doing to our soul in the process?
Are we getting better or worse?
And what about Earth...and other beings on earth..how much of their sacrifice is needed in fulfilling our selfish desires?

That is why we need to do "Nothing" now. Just stop chasing those desires. The food we eat, the dreams we dream, everything we are doing thinking we are doing something useful is taking a toll on Earth.

The more I read about it, the more I get shocked. And yes this is the path of the courageous. Because just going zero waste isn't enough, just being a vegetarian isn't enough. There are so many things to drop out of your life that 'Change' is a kind of lifestyle. 
Your head will spin 360 degrees just being where you are.
No need for vacations, challenges and adventures...
just look around the mess we have created

We have been continuously contributing to the Liability of Earth's Balance Sheet.
When will we become an Asset? 

Day 54 - WEC- The inner turmoil

There are so many things that I want to write about, that I want to express.
About people I met recently and how sick they were and how beautiful some other souls were.
About misunderstandings that arise between two perfectly well intentioned souls.
About my insecurities, about my love for the world.
But then some small voice inside me stops me. It says,"Why are you opening up your heart to people? You don't know what kind of person is on the other side and reading your innermost thoughts. They may misuse this."
And this has happened.
My frank and upfront nature has been the cause of many sleepless nights.
Most people are just not worth the truth!

But some are.
Very few are.
And this goes out to them.
This risk must be taken.
Because the true souls are worth every bit of pain suffered to connect to them.

There was a time I wanted to be a writer.
That urge and desire isn't there anymore.
You want to be something when somewhere inside you believe that you aren't that.
But when you are 'it', you don't want 'to do' those things.
I can not be a writer or a story teller or a lover !
I am all that and so much more.
I recently got connected to Instagram and I always get stuck at that "Bio" part where we are supposed to introduce ourselves.
How silly is that?
You just write what you know about yourself.
No..you write what you 'like' about yourself.
You write what you are proud of showing to the world.
But that's not the real you.
You are just putting up a nice face!
That's because you are afraid of saying the truth!
You are afraid people won't like you if they know that about you.
But you do know that about yourself, and you hide it. You hide it to your grave.
So nobody knows the whole story.
How sad!

I don't want that to happen to me.
I want people to know my whole truth.
The good, the bad, and the unknown.
You know there is always that area....you don't know what it is...is it good? is it bad?

I want to tell the world about the experiences I explored.
I have explored love in so many forms. The love affair I have With my pets, my family, my dreams, my plants,my innumerable lovers and with my country.
You can't be someone who loves that deeply and doesn't hate as much deeply.
They both go hand in hand,
and so I have also hated.
I have explored hate in so many forms. The hate I feel towards animal abusers, the hate I feel for the people who hurt my family members, the rage I feel when someone disrespects my dreams, my heart is torn when my plants die for reasons I don't know yet, I so wished I could talk to them and understand what they need and give it when they were still alive....The hate I feel towards my ex lovers for the way they treated me, and towards people who harm my country.

As I swing between love and hate, between compassion and pain
and between reaching out and holding in, I live!
With this inner turmoil , I breathe.

Day 53- WEC- Three Stories of three women!

Story 1:

There is a very smart woman and she wants to do a lot in her life and she is capable. But she doesn't find good support system in her family. She tries to take them together and walk forward on the road to progress.....but somehow the burden of their rejection and negative approach towards her is too much. So she decides to walk alone, without any support from anybody. Step by step, she makes herself stronger, with every passing day she learns new lessons. She doesn't stop, she pushes on, she achieves her goals and her dreams. In the process she leaves her loved one's far behind. The loneliness is her comfort zone now. There are vultures attacking her everywhere , she fights them bravely, scarred and bleeding, but she won't ask for help, she can't trust anybody . There is no turning back, there is nobody to look up to. Every step must be forward. Her defense system is high, nobody can breach the high walls. The thorns on these walls bleed the hands of even her well wishers and her friends. The walls keep her lonelier than she should be. There are good people around....but she can't see any. She fires at all targets blindly!

Story 2:

This is also a story of a woman.
This one is highly intelligent and calm. Powerful combination. Very early in her life, she and her family had to go through a very difficult situation. It was tough to survive it, but somehow they make it through, all of them. They are now a happy, close knit ,supportive family. But the memories of those years don't fade out from her mind. The fear and insecurity of that situation keeps surrounding her even today. She is still reacting to a situation that happened 15 years back. "What if it happens again? i must be prepared" She keeps telling herself. "I will make no mistake." She is filling up every gap, she is trouble shooting to that old problem even today. She is so busy looking out for the shore that almost sunk her ship that she misses noticing the shores that could take her to places.

Story 3:

There is yet another woman.
This one is a warrior princess. She was trained for battle since childhood. And she thought she was ready to take on the world.But her very first battle gave her the deepest of all wounds, her training didn't help cope with the situation. She lost the battle , she lost every war subsequently and that continued for such a long time that she lost her identity in the chaos of defeat!
"Had there been some mistake?" She thought, "What kind of training did they give me, I was duped! i am no warrior!" So she stays low and makes sure to get as far away as possible at the very whiff of conflict....but A warrior princess she is meant to be...wherever she goes, conflict follows ! The chase continues...Will she stop running away and turn around and look Conflict in the eye? Will she mount the horse and fight?



The first story is of a woman who has built very high defense mechanism to protect herself. That mechanism while it works against some, starts hurting the maker in the long run. The right step is  to get strong internally by bringing down the defenses  and fill oneself with positive potion so you can deal with  attacks calmly, without locking oneself down in a defense tower.


In the second story, the woman needs to make peace with herself and accept that whatever happened was not her fault, it has taught her some good lessons, it was necessary for her growth, have gratitude and walk ahead. Breaking out of the circle of fear and insecurity which has been formed due to repeated thinking patterns on the problem takes time and often feels painful. But it is necessary for the spiritual growth and one must accept it.She must break those thinking patterns consciously , so she needs to learn the techniques of breaking them and apply them regularly.


As Lord Krishna says in the Bhagawad Gita, a warrior must fight the battle. There is no place for a coward on a battlefield. The third woman must pick her sword again and she must get back to war in order to win over her fear of failure.

All of us are stuck at different stages of our life. Some of us are stuck in our towers of fear, some of us are tired of running away from the problem, some others still are wondering what is happening  and are unaware of the patterns or the lessons to learn.

Eventually, we learn what we need to learn, it's a matter of time!

Day 52-WEC- Rolling the Ball!

I have been thinking and thinking and getting frustrated with the state of affairs for years.

Plastic everywhere!
Deterioration of the environment!
Pollution!
Negativity amongst people!

First, I decided to go off the grid, ran away to Ooty, tried to find a farm to rent out.

"If you want to make God laugh, tell him you have a plan!"

Apart from what was intended, everything else that was not intended happened.
I came home. Dejected, scared but not hopeless.
I took my time.
Stayed underground for a while.
Reworked myself.
And the opportunity walked in.

"A man travels the world over in search of what he needs and returns home to find it."

Goa is becoming a garbage dump day by day. The Government isn't doing much, as always, they have better things to take care of, such as 'increasing their Party strength in the Legislative Assembly and kick off some past allies' or  fill their personal treasury in the name of running a Government! 

All of them are pathetically the same kind. 

Aso ( 'Anyway' in marathi),

So there was this 12 week Go wasteless Program started by this woman called Saritha. 

( The Waste Less Project collectively researches local solutions on waste reduction for the larger community.
Follow the project via: Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/wastelessgoa) OR Instagram (@wastelesspro).
WhatsApp Invite - https://chat.whatsapp.com/K1DRmATLF71HaVFK2N5URl)

We just had to sign up and she personally sent us information every week and helped me to reduce my waste drastically.

What more, I even started composting and planting more trees than ever before. 

I should say this program alone made almost 50% change in my behaviour as a consumer, as a citizen and a human being. 

One of the requirement of the 12 week program was to talk about this subject in our communities. 

That's what I did. 

I talked to Mahila Mandal with over a 100 members about the solutions to our Garbage problems and ended the talk with an Action plan for the Mandal.

Lucky me, the Mandal took it up!

We then held a meeting with the Municipal Counselor and the residents of 2 wards. 

A. We pledged to send 0 waste to the landfill.

B. We pledged to hand over our dry waste to a responsible recycler.

C. We pledged to learn composting at home and at community level.

Next, we invited the Garbage Warrior of Goa Mr. Carneiro to visit Comba, our ward to guide us about waste management. He checked some of the black spots and then took us to a community composting unit he had set up for 120 residents. 

<---- This is a Black Soldier Fly larvae composter with 1000 ltrs capacity.

Apart from educating ourselves and spreading awareness, we are taking steps to minimize garbage as much as possible. We are talking with several people about starting something similar to an Eco Posro in Comba. Check this out:
Goa's very First Eco Posro!

There are some nay Sayers of course. But there are so many enthusiasts who are ready and willing to participate in this revolution.

We just have to get the ball rolling!

"Dum Laga ke Haisha"! 

Day 51- WEC- Lose some , win some!

I am generally happy about my life at this point.
I am actually doing a lot of the things that were just dilly dallying on my "To Do List" since 2014.
For an example, two of the activities were:  "Meditate Regularly" and "Grow your own veggies". I am actually doing these two very important activities and they have increased my overall life satisfaction score.
I also almost have the kind of balance between legal work, my passion for writing and doing community related work about recycling dry waste and composting the wet waste.
I don't always get it right of course.
Some days I read, some days I don't.
Some days I write, some days I don't.
Some days I do legal work, other days I don't.

Do I make a lot of money ?
Nope.

Am I happy?
I am peaceful!  :-)

I have realised that the shift from "How is this going to benefit me?" To "How is this going to benefit people around me?" has made me more guilt free and happy than just thinking about my career goals, my money, my success etc.

It has taken me quite some time to  get here, it has been a wonderful journey.

You want to know the trick to be more peaceful?

A. Quit Competition of all kinds!
In your career, pay, looks, dressing, success . It's just such a dumb concept! When we compete , we believe that we are against someone else. And that's a self sabotaging strategy. Get this right- we are not 'against' others, we are in fact ' a part of the whole'! I don't compete with my mom or my mum in law, or my sister or my sister in law or my best friend....or my Husband..then why not spare the rest of the world? What is making me look/sound better than the other women or the other men going to give me? A superiority complex, arthaat 'Ego Boost'. That brings me to point no. 2

B. Wage a war against your Ego!
It's not the break up's or the fights we have with our colleagues or Managers that hurt us more than Our own Ego. This Ego is a devil sitting inside our heads and making us work against ourselves by giving us a notion that it's actually good for us.
It's hard to understand exactly at what point to take a stand against someone else because of their behaviour towards you or others, because of this Ego element in between the transaction. Do I want to take a stand because I am hurt, and am I hurt because of my Ego ? Or should this behaviour be curbed for the benefit of many? I run myself through these screens before red flagging my own behaviour or those of others- whether it's my family or at work place.
As a rule, no matter in what setting, abusive -aggressive behaviour is to be shot down at first sight.

C. Downsize, Stop running behind manufactured ideas of success, adventure and happiness!
This has been the biggest relief! No need to run behind jobs and fatter pay to spend money on clothes, drinks, parties, traveling etc.
I understand there are people who really love dressing up, their desire has gone beyond all good sense and the toll it takes on our environment and resources. And I also understand there are people ( I was one of them) for whom adventure means traveling, scouting, parties - Yo!
Well! A continuous traveling life does tend to put pressure on our minds. So does running behind adventure activities, jobs, higher qualifications....I have done it all and realised that everything I was ever searching for was right here, in Goa, where I am.
The entire running behind things business was expensive, exhausting and unfortunately ended with no great lessons learnt.

D. Identify the activities that bring you 'Nirmal Anand' / Peace:
What are the things you do when nobody pays you? Or nobody asks you to do, yet you do, because of something so strong within? It takes years to identify these activities. And most of the times they are the really small everyday things around us.
For an example, I love spending time with my pets and around the trees, it's such a satisfying and absolutely free of any cost activity.
I also love going to the library and spend time amongst books. I enjoy my time alone at home, I enjoy my time with kids, I also enjoy searching for old clothes in my mom's closet and try to convert those fabrics into something else.
All these are activities that require no money and yet give me so much joy.

E. Closer to nature, closer to spirituality :
If you have already done the above, then you would naturally bend closer to the nature and nature will direct you to spirituality. People who have no clue about the nature of their souls are truly lost. They are so engaged in everything outside of them that they have no clue what's happening inside. And what's happening inside is everything..it's the real world! But well....it's a long journey!


That's it!
Just 5 points and you are on your way to a Peaceful life.

I wish you all peace and harmony, love and abundance!

be happy!

Day 50- WEC- Happy Gudi Padwa!

When things are going good, everything is good. but one weak moment, and i see all the underlying cracks! now thats what scares me.
thats what i need to work on, to make the weakest moments my strongest!

Day 49- A good short film after a long time!

https://youtu.be/h7R5cnvtWAo

Once upon a time I watched 5 films a day....all full length, any kind and any language, with or without subtitles. Most times, those kind of days would "Hang my system"..both my brain and the computer I mean. It felt different, something like meditation where your goal is to get to zero thought and that's rare ..very rare. I guess here, when you take in too much information at once, it's not that thoughts stop, we simply stop being aware of them because they are so many at so many different levels.

Well! And now, I hardly watch one film in 4 months! It's hard to get some good recommendations first and foremost and I have no time to waste on testing out good films.

Day 48- WEC - Weddings are supposed to be private Events!

Got married!
9 people in total!
It was perfect!

Advantages:

1. No gossiping people around : Case on point- I attended my cousin's wedding this January. They are a sweet family and it was a Big event, well managed. Yet, I heard people talk really negative stuff about the family. Eye popping statements!

So I concluded: I don't want these extras who have no business in any ritual, who are actually invited for their blessings but who can't even do that much with dignity.

2. Almost 100% environmentally friendly wedding: The more people you involve, more things get out of control. Why this, why not that...questions they shouldn't bother themselves with, opinions that are best ignored start making a difference when non essentials are invited. I wore a cotton saree, no silks. No wastage of food was found, the extra flowers etc were put in our compost pit.

3. The sanctity of the ceremony was maintained: A wedding is a special time, it's made up of mantras, holy verses from the Vedas etc. The result of having only parents and the closest nuclear unit was that everyone experienced the benefit of the rituals. Everyone was fully involved , attentive and helpful. At the end of the day, all of us were happy - not exhausted! Not thinking - 'Thank God! It's done!' It's not something to be gotten rid of, or bored of or irritated with. And I didn't feel any negative emotions at the wedding. There was intense fear initially..marriage has been a topic of much trouble in my life, but thanks to the mantras, the cheerful pandits who also told us they truly enjoyed the occasion since they could do all the rituals by taking their time. No hurrying because of guests waiting for The Reception to begin. The result was a smooth, positive and a holy marriage ceremony... the way it was ideally supposed to be.

4. Cost, no splurging to prove a point to anyone: We had wedding exactly the way we wanted it...to the last detail. No commercial activities were done. Amol put mehendi on my hands. All of us did the decoration made up of simply zhendu flowers with our own hands, with our own heads. No expensive flowers to show off..wealth or class. No professional decorators or photographers.

This and so many other considerations:

5. Time saved: The very next day we were on the ground , doing our regular activities. This wedding took only 2 days of preparation.

6. Taste of Reality: This felt real, natural, comfortable- it felt like Janaki and Amol. Not like someone we don't know ,or we don't understand or don't want to be. We are down to earth people and that is how the wedding was, down to earth! No makeup, no silly hairstyles, no fancy dress competition!

And therefore, you should too try this, at least once in your life. Learn to keep things simple and pure...and they turn magical!

Day 48- WEC - Weddings are supposed to be private Events!

Got married!
9 people in total!
It was perfect!

Advantages:

1. No gossiping people around : Case on point- I attended my cousin's wedding this January. They are a sweet family and it was a Big event, well managed. Yet, I heard people talk really negative stuff about the family. Eye popping statements!

So I concluded: I don't want these extras who have no business in any ritual, who are actually invited for their blessings but who can't even do that much with dignity.

2. Almost 100% environmentally friendly wedding: The more people you involve, more things get out of control. Why this, why not that...questions they shouldn't bother themselves with, opinions that are best ignored start making a difference when non essentials are invited. I wore a cotton saree, no silks. No wastage of food was found, the extra flowers etc were put in our compost pit.

3. The sanctity of the ceremony was maintained: A wedding is a special time, it's made up of mantras, holy verses from the Vedas etc. The result of having only parents and the closest nuclear unit was that everyone experienced the benefit of the rituals. Everyone was fully involved , attentive and helpful. At the end of the day, all of us were happy - not exhausted! Not thinking - 'Thank God! It's done!' It's not something to be gotten rid of, or bored of or irritated with. And I didn't feel any negative emotions at the wedding. There was intense fear initially..marriage has been a topic of much trouble in my life, but thanks to the mantras, the cheerful pandits who also told us they truly enjoyed the occasion since they could do all the rituals by taking their time. No hurrying because of guests waiting for The Reception to begin. The result was a smooth, positive and a holy marriage ceremony... the way it was ideally supposed to be.

4. Cost, no splurging to prove a point to anyone: We had wedding exactly the way we wanted it...to the last detail. No commercial activities were done. Amol put mehendi on my hands. All of us did the decoration made up of simply zhendu flowers with our own hands, with our own heads. No expensive flowers to show off..wealth or class. No professional decorators or photographers.

This and so many other considerations:

5. Time saved: The very next day we were on the ground , doing our regular activities. This wedding took only 2 days of preparation.

6. Taste of Reality: This felt real, natural, comfortable- it felt like Janaki and Amol. Not like someone we don't know ,or we don't understand or don't want to be. We are down to earth people and that is how the wedding was, down to earth! No makeup, no silly hairstyles, no fancy dress competition!

And therefore, you should too try this, at least once in your life. Learn to keep things simple and pure...and they turn magical!

Day 47-WEC- Leading to a potential war situation?

My day was different from the end of the day actually. I am learning the basics of Nyaya Shastra and my teachers are teenagers, a smart  boy of 15 and a young beautiful girl of around 14 years. And both of them are doing a fantastic job so far and I am enjoying my time with the kids.....I am the oldest student in that school, you know!

So obviously, I had no clue whatsoever of what's going around , especially at the border. I didnt know until 9 pm. After I had done some gardening and had my dinner and bathed and turned on my whatsapp to see messages flooded in some of the groups. That's when I turned on the news channels, most of them were celebrating like it were Holi or Diwali! One of the news anchors was so excited to report this surgical strike, he was jumping all over the place. And it was already 9.30 pm when I watched this and the strike happened sometime at 3.30 am. I wonder whether he has been jumping around this way the whole day? If he is, what's he on? Like what is he eating? Some others were arguing and fighting...I don't understand why they call it a debate. Isn't a debate about mature discussion? This was like two kids fighting over a toy! No, it was more like 'He hit me first' cry!

If you are digging for my opinion over this news, then I must confess I am disappointing you. I hold no opinion over the surgical strike.
A. I am neither the PM nor the Defence Minister nor the opposition to have an opinion.
B. No matter what my opinion is, does it really matter? Like can I really do some big change with that opinion? No.
C. Who said every citizen needs to have an opinion about everything that happens in this country? Can we just let some able leadership to do their job without jumping to conclusions or getting busy with opinion formation?

I am neither celebrating nor fearful, this is not a 'which side are you on' Issue!

I feel we Indians have become too opinionated! More than half of us don't have common sense, the other 30% don't know what it means to be rational, another 10% think just because they have some high qualification , or a particular bank balance, or some measure of success they can give an opinion about anything in this world...and their opinion has value just because they are successful!

What we need in such times is quiet observation!
Can we just shut up and observe whatever that is happening rather than reacting with celebration or opinion or rejection or anger etc. All this high drama is useless. Drama is good for theatre, dance and film makers but seriously, that's all where you can use it...for Entertainment! When we use drama in real life , real life becomes a Grand Circus and we go up and down like on a roller coaster!

So yeah, Air strikes have happened.
Global community (leaders) have acknowledged the situation and gave their opinion ( like as if that even matters now....where were they during 26/11...see, that's what opinion is worth! The global community gave an opinion then and they gave an opinion now....What happened of that opinion and this opinion? How has it helped? )
As of now, India and Pakistan are (once again) on a war zone ( is that even news now? When have we not been fighting? During Indus Valley Civilisation? Or did that civilisation also end due to a war with some tribe from India?)

P.N:: (This is for those who love to twist and  manipulate what others say in ways to confuse other readers by messing up with the intent of the written or spoken word) ::

I am not overlooking or ignoring the death of our Jawaans with this post! Or supporting any Party/ Organisation.

P.S: We should seriously start looking beyond Political Party and ideology and religious divisions, and all other divisions actually.

The world has mastered the Art of Dividing!
What we need now is a serious research, study, interest and intention to further the cause of the Art of Uniting!

Now that's called a balanced Opinion!

Jai Hind!