Day 44- WEC- The Grind starts!

The grind starts from Monday.
Shastra Shaala from 7 am till 6 pm. I look forward to a hectic and a busy schedule . But want to make sure I don't push it too much.

Busy cleaning my room, prepping for the course, lining up activities- wedding's on the cards and then possibly kids. ..Maybe..If God wills! Wow! Next 3 to 5 years will change my life, I can see it coming. And the person who started this all was none other than Amol.
We still can't believe we are in a relationship.
I have known him since my childhood. he was my senior in school. And then we went trekking together and organised camps together too. But nothing ever clicked. I thought he would never go for someone like me, I thought he didn't like me. And he says he wondered why I always kept that distance with him.
Life is strange, really strange. It surprises us in ways we can never expect in our wildest dreams and fantasies. I always got the feeling that my partner would be someone I have known a long time, maybe even before I became conscious of myself. But when I looked around I found no one.

This deja vu thing has happened with me so many times. It's only later that I realise, oh yeah, I did think about it but I hadn't considered it for some absurd reason.

Sometimes I wish I could fast forward and watch what's going to happen 10 years later. Because if I had ff'd 10 years back, me and Amol were on a trekking trip. I was married to his friend then. And there was no chance to even look in each other's eyes. Hell ! No way! I was unhappy in my marriage, and he knew it but I am glad he never crossed my way. I am glad no man crossed my way when I was in trouble. It is better to learn to stand up by yourself rather than take someone's help. I am glad he stood on the sidelines a long time and watched me stand and run again. But before he could say something I had already run far away, to different places and with different men.

But there is a saying, what you deserve always finds it's way to you. And so did we. We wish we had been together earlier. He was alone all this time and I was stuck in one bad relationship after another. A relationship would have done much healing to both our souls years earlier. But everything happens at the right time. In 2014 I didn't want to marry, by 2016 I didn't want to settle in Goa, I still had things on my things to do list- to explore, to try out! Travel alone, take some more risks. I was absolutely done by December 2017 when I faced a criminal assault from a known person while I was on one of my travels! I was scared for my life but also confident that I could survive anything. Then why was I scared to step back in Goa? I spent the last 10 years training myself for a hard life. Physical attacks or verbal abuses or mental games- I had survived it all.

I am ready for Goa.
More than what it can challenge me with.
Bring it on!